#reverb10 – December 24

December 24 Prompt – Everything’s OK What was the best moment that could serve as proof that everything is going to be alright? And how will you incorporate that discovery into the year ahead? (Author: Kate Inglis)

For some reason I’m staying up stupid late to catch up on all these prompts.  Right now it seems really important to not have to think about reverberations of any kind again until Boxing Day.  Don’t ask me why this is important–it just is.

So yesterday’s prompt.  I’ve been thinking for a while now that I wanted to bust my way down from weekly sessions with my therapist to biweekly appointments.  I even put this in my list of 11 things I wanted to do in 2011.  Well, I managed to fit it into 2010.  I gathered up my courage after a weekend of risks taken, and told her what I thought.  And it was fine.  It was more than fine.  She’d been thinking the same thing.

I know I’m the employer when it comes to therapy; I’m the one in charge.  But it doesn’t make it any easier for me to stop thinking of my therapist as the authority in the situation.  So it was scary and risky for me to bring this up.  It turned out be so easy though, that I thought to myself “maybe there are a lot more risks that are this easy in the end; maybe there are a lot of goals that aren’t as difficult to achieve as I think they are.”

I don’t fundamentally believe that it’ll all be OK.  I’m really, really scared that it won’t be, in fact.  But I will keep trying to at least act like it will be, taking the necessary risks and chances that might lead me to that belief.